Category: Becoming a bereavement doula

These blog posts discuss how to become a bereavement doula.

What’s the difference between a bereavement doula and a death doula?

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Did you know that bereavement doulas and death doulas actually hold different professions?

The support these different types of doulas provide is very similar: emotional, spiritual, and physical care, along with advocacy and communication support. The social support they offer may differ a bit (death doulas may focus on family of the loved one, while bereavement doulas may focus more on community members), but even this general type of support is shared.

The main difference is in whom they serve.

A bereavement doula typically focuses on working with families who have experienced a perinatal loss (a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss).

Whereas, a death doula or end-of-life doula typically works with individuals who are dying, while also supporting their families. These individuals are typically older (that is, not embryos, fetuses, or infants).

A second difference is timing of services.

While death doulas typically work with a client leading up to and through their death and perhaps will continue working with their family for some time after their death, bereavement doulas may work with clients even decades after the loss of their little one.

Both of these roles are incredibly important.

Here at Haven Bereavement Doulas, we specialize in helping folks better support families experiencing perinatal loss. If you are considering becoming a death doula, we cheer you on and thank you for your work! If you’re considering becoming a bereavement doula, check out our resources at this link.

How to work as a bereavement doula when you can’t live life on call

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Haven Bereavement Doulas may live on-call lifestyles for clients who are pregnant or recently postpartum, but we also do bereavement doula work that does not involve being on call. So, if you’re considering becoming a bereavement doula but life on call doesn’t sound like it will work for you right now, know that bereavement doula work may still be for you.

One of the major roles we as Haven Bereavement Doulas play is the role of advocate. In our training, we talk about different ways to fulfill all of our roles; in this blog post, I want to share with you just a few ideas for advocacy work that don’t involve being on call:

  • Start a bereaved parents community group in your area. 
  • Host conversations about death or perinatal loss in your community (maybe even specifically for birth workers).
  • Help put together a Wave of Light, Memorial Walk, or other event to commemorate little ones who die young (this may especially be tied to October’s observance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month).
  • Create a shared resource list for your area of bereavement support providers and grief-informed folks.
  • Write blog posts or social media posts about loss and loss support.
  • Write grants for bereavement support in conjunction with your local non-profits. 
  • Write to local non-profits about the need for financial support for loss families in your area. (i.e., ask the Knights of Columbus to consider creating a perinatal loss funeral fund).
  • Advocate for better workplace policies around bereavement leave. 
  • Work with local artists to do gallery shows or art fairs in honor of little ones who have died. 
  • Help your local hospital raise money for a Cuddle Cot. 
  • Organize a peer support group in your community for loss parents. 
  • Speak in your community about perinatal loss.
  • Invite a speaker to give a presentation to your community about perinatal loss. 
  • Equip other providers in your area to be more grief-informed, perhaps through helping them to take a Haven Bereavement Doula training (lactation consultants, photographers, keepsake jewelry makers, nurses, OBs, chaplains, other doulas, etc.). 
  • Work with your local library to increase the number of grief support books they have available. Sometimes, you can donate a book, but you can almost always recommend a purchase.
  • Offer to speak with clergy and spiritual leaders in your area about the spiritual needs families may have after loss. 

Do you have more ideas? Comment below!

Are you ready to jump into this work? Sign up for a training now!

Why you should – or should not – become an HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doula

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Do not become an HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doula if:

  • You want to coach, direct, or lead people through their grief. As HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doulas, we follow the best practices of grief work and take a companioning approach to grief.
  • You are not yet a doula and are planning to take only expected live birth doula clients. This course will not focus on such births other than in the context of anticipated infant loss and, frankly, will therefore not prepare you very well.
    • Haven Bereavement Doulas does offer trainings for expected live birth doulas who want to strengthen their loss support skills but are not planning to specialize in bereavement support. Look into our 3-hour Caring for Clients through Loss training.
  • You want a certification or credential solely for use with insurance companies. As many insurance companies still do not provide benefits to families who experience a loss, especially before viability, pursuing insurance accreditation is not currently our primary goal.

If these descriptions don’t apply to you, read on:

  • Join us if you’re passionate about making the world a more supportive place for loss families.
  • If you’re already a doula, strengthen your skills through our training if you want to level up your support for doula clients, incorporating bereavement support as a specialization.
  • Use our comprehensive training to prepare yourself to take on the roles of both a birthworker and a griefworker, if you are not currently a doula but you want to become exclusively a bereavement doula.

Check out our How To page for more information about taking your next steps toward becoming an HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doula.

The HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doula Reading List

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Like many other doula certification programs, ours has a reading list. We provide it here so that everyone who is looking for resources on bereavement support can engage with them, whether you’re currently part of our program or not!

Find this list at the St. Louis Public Library here.

Category 1: Birth Education

HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doula candidates read The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin. Candidates who have already read The Birth Partner are encouraged to revisit it, through re-reading or through skimming, and consider how the material can be reinterpreted specifically for bereavement births.

Category 2: Grief Education

HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doula candidates read Counseling Skills for Companioning the Mourner by Dr. Alan Wolfelt.

Category 3: Cultural Competency – Race

HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doula candidates read What God is Honored Here? Writings on Miscarriage and Infant Loss by and for Native Women and Women of Color, an anthology edited by Shannon Gibney and Kao Kalia Yang.

Category 4: Cultural Competency – Spirituality

HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doula candidates choose one of the following books to read for certification:

Category 5: History of Birth/Loss Support

HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doula candidates read a book specific to the history of loss in their current context (i.e., most U.S.-based candidates read The Myth of the Perfect Pregnancy: A History of Miscarriage in America by Lara Freidenfelds).

Category 6: Children’s Books

Children’s books can be powerful tools, both for children and adults. HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doula candidates choose any two of these children’s books to review.

Category 7: Business Strategy and Ethics

HCBD Haven Certified Bereavement Doula candidates read “The Bereavement Doula’s Business Manual” by Dr. Abby Jorgensen. This is available to candidates at no extra cost.

What does it mean to be grief-informed?

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“Grief-informed” is a term I use to capture two key elements of
someone’s approach toward other people.

(1) This person anticipates that every person in her or his care may have a history of grief and loss.

(2) This person chooses to speak and act in a way that reflects that possibility of grief and loss.

It can also be applied to an organization’s or group’s approach.

Being grief-informed may require a dramatic overhaul for many of us, as society has taught us to ignore, hide, or shy away from conversations about death (especially the death of a child and prenatal death). And at Haven Bereavement Doulas, we are committed to working together to continue that dramatic overhaul, for ourselves and for our communities.

To cite this page, please reference:

Jorgensen, Abigail. “What does it mean to be grief-informed?”. Bereavement Doulas (blog). January 12, 2024.